Wants

If only I could become a granny DJ someday!

I believe that I wish for my future much more than I am enjoying living in the present - which is something I promised myself that I wouldn't do. I look ahead and see exploration, travel, great stories...I see getting to the actual "real life" part of this journey. I guess I always feel old, but I just realized today how young I actually am. My whole life if still ahead of me, and I haven't even gotten out of school yet! I haven't even experienced 1/4 of my life yet (assuming, with hope, that I make it to 80 years old!)

I've often thought about what kind of old woman I wish to become. I see myself as a crazy old woman. I'm crazy enough now as it is...so I feel as if I am going to let it all loose whenever I'm an old woman. I won't care about my appearance too much anymore so I'll be able to constantly feed my sweet tooth! However...this is also the road to diabetes so I'll have to control myself! I'll probably have a lot of cats. I'll have a husband who sits on the porch with me and smokes a tobacco pipe while I do word searches and doodle people I've met through my life as cartoon characters. I'd go to Bingo every Friday night. I'll probably be seen as the loony grandma in the family. I'll spoil my grandkids and read them the craziest children's books. I'll read them my own stories. I'll tell them my own adventures.

I just want to be done with high school. I want to be out on my own. I want to do unexpected things. I want to live a life that couldn't be described as "normal." But mostly, I just want to move on to the next stage of life - I've been enclosed in the bubble of school for 13 years!

I want to graduate.